College

I hve recently been accepted to a college. I have always had anxiety about college. Am I smart enough? good enough? am I mature enough? these questions have haunted me since I was 14 years old. but now on the threshold of etering college. my God has removed all anxiety and has replaced it with trust, I trut him to take care for me and provide for me. I don't know how I am going to pay for it. I don't know how I will get there but I know God will do what is best for me.

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord. Plans to prosper and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future."

american idol frustration

I love american Idol. I am a die hard fan. we were unable to catch this years s we had a friend record them. unfortunately we got tapes mixed up and are having a tuff time sorting them out. I really hope we can manage to see them all. I vote for Danny Goky all the way!!!

who holds the trigger

my brother, Connor, and I were laughing...I don't remember what about. we laughed as we waited for the small bus that would take us to the movies. a man walked up and showed us two guns he had stuck in his pants. "If you want peace give me your money and your phones." he said. Connor and I looked at each other. I looked at our house. we could see it from where we stood. I was dying to run home and end the scene happening before my eyes. then another man came up. the first man took a gun from his pants and handed it to the second. at first I stood and did nothing as did my brother. it was as if we were watching a movie and we were waiting for the victims to hand their money over. I looked to Connor to know what to do. he stuck his hand in his pocket. and I opened my purse. I think we finally realised in those few seconds that we were not watching this but it was happening to us. we were the victims. I pulled my wallet out and the man snatched it from me. I grew afraid. I thought he just wanted my money not my wallet. I had a picture of my best friend in there. I nearlly panicked and cried. but then I asked him. thinking he's a human being maybe he will understand. I asked for the picture back he ignored me and took connor's promise ring off his finger. I feared losing mine so i slipped the silver ring off my finger and descretely stuck it in my pocket. then they cursed us to our faces and started to leave. I feared my picture lost. then the first man turned and asked me. "Do you want your picture or not?" I nodded my head faring my voice to weak to be heard. he pulled my wallet from his pockt and opened it. he pulled out 400/ ksh and looked angrily at me. "Is this al you have?" I said yes believeing it to be the truth even though I did not look at the amount. he cursed me again. I hated his words they burned into me like a hot iron. the first man ordered us to move down a path that was hidden from the road and any witnesses. I grew afraid and their beckoning. Connor spoke calmly to the men. "Listen we have coorperated, we have done all you have asked now please let us go home." the men looked around nervously and turned shouting more cursous as they left.

men saught to do us harm. They thought that they were putting us in danger. but the truth is they were and are the ones in danger. Connor and I were never in danger. Whether we lived or died our lives were in the hands of Jesus our saviour. but the men who robbed us do not have Jesus. And I will continue to pray for those men.

so who was holding the trigger. who decided who lived or died. the answer is Jesus. he will always hold the fate of mie and everyone elses life. I will never be in danger.whether living or dying I feel his arms wround me. ad nothing can take that loving touch from me.

comment I'd love to hear what you have to say.
Abbey

Secrets by: Emily Dickinson

The skies can't keep their secret
They tell it to the hills-
The hills just tell the orchards-
And they the daffodils

A bird, by chance, that goes that way
Soft overhead the whole.
If I should bribe the little bird,
Who knows but she would tell

I think i won't however,
It's finer not to know;
If summer were and axiom,
What sorcery had snow?

So keep your secret, father!
I woulod not, if i could,
Know what the sapphire fellows do,
In your new-fashioned world!

A Moment

how long is a moment?

what is a moment?
how long is a moment?
can it be captured in a picture?
can it last a day?
is it as short as a second?

what can be done in a moment?
can a crime be commited in a moment?
can a baby be born in a moment?
can you grow up in a moment?

I think a moment is as long as it takes to make a difference.
spend your moments wisely they are not as long as they seem
they make the biggest difference and they are the things that pass the fastest.
they last a year they last a second watch out for them don't let them go.

Home

hurraay february 2009 is here!!

I have beenthinking alot about a home. what qualifies a home? the dictionary lists a home as

1. a residence
2. a family group
3. a birthplace
4. a native habitat (Giggle)
5. a safe place
6. a place of assistance
7. a grave

what place can meet all these requirements.

the place i considered my home for years i recently has to move from. i have spent christmas at a different "home" three years in a row. and right now my family is kind of house sitting for another missionary until he comes back or for however long we need to stay here. i have a hard time calling this place my home because it is someone elses house. so what is a home? a grave? a habitat?

I think that a home is a place where you feel safe where you want to be. and i think that not everyone finds their home when their young i think that often times you get a temporary home unti you get you real home. and then for christians we eventually move to our permanent home with Jesus and in a way all our homes are temporary. this might sound discouraging but to a girl who feels like she is constantly on the move like me it is a great comfort. to know that it won't always be like this is nice.

my definition of home

Home: a safe place where you can always go where everything is alright. a place of comfort. with the ones you love. perfect with imperfections that make it home. it's where you want to be.

ME!!

some things about me

1. I love country music
2. I love chocolate
3. I want to be a special education teacher
4. I have a crush on the same guy for 5 years and he doesn't hardly notice me.
5. My favorite color is blue
6. I think polotics is the most confusing thing there is.
7. I love stardust.
8. I'm homeschooled
9. My middle name is Lousie (after my grandmother)
10. I only ever met one of my grandparents
11. I'm writing a book
12. I hate bugs with a vengance (I had a bad experience)
13. I think nick nolte has an anoing voice
14. My favorite actor looks wise is Ben Barnes (Laugh if you want i can't hear you hahah)
15. My favorite actor talent wise is Johnny Depp because he is amazing. i don't always like what he plays in but he has talent.
16. I got my ears peirced when i was fourteen and again when i turned seventeen
17. I would love to be a singer but i don't have the talent.
18. I love to laugh.
19. I's lonely sometimes (But who isn't)
20. I have never been on a date.
21. My favorite animal cute wise is an otter.
22. my favorite animal coolness wise is a dolphin.
23. i feel like a dweeb right now.
24. I feel younger than i am i am 18 but i have so much fun i don't feel like an adult.(Young at heart thats me)
25. I have been told i look twelve (Thanks alot)

and thats me take me as I am.